Counter-dependency

M_EN - Slider1

M_EN - Slider2b

M_EN - Slider3

M_EN - Slider4

Counter-dependency is the state of refusal of attachment, the denial of personal need and dependency. The counterdependent male in particular may pride himself on being ‘manly’ – not needing affection, support or warmth, and being tough, independent. However, this state is also common among women. The apparently independent behavior of the counterdependent can act as a powerful lure for a co-dependent personality.

One of the most common symptoms of a counter-dependent personality is love avoidance. Love avoidance is often seen as emotional distancing or emotional unavailability, where the thought of relying on another creates anxiety, distress, and discomfort. These are people that often want to be in a relationship, but fear becoming lost or overwhelmed.

Conter-dependency can manifest itself even if you are already in a relationship. The following signs may indicate love avoidance or a counter-dependent personality:

• Change in attention to the partner – people who are initially attentive and charming and then become cold and distant are intentionally setting up barriers to protect themselves from becoming emotionally available.
• Lack of emotional intimacy – fear of showing the true self, or fear of being seen as vulnerable, can lead to avoiding emotional intimacy. In some cases, emotional intimacy may occur only to be immediately withdrawn.
• Doing other things – people may prioritize other behaviors and “things” over the relationship. This could be spending long hours at work, in the gym, or with friends.
• Inability to talk about feelings – a love avoidant person does not usually open up to others. For those who are emotionally unavailable, both negative and positive feelings are difficult to express.

Most love avoidant people are very defensive about their inability to connect and to have a healthy relationship. They are often in denial and use anger and defensiveness as a further barrier to creating emotional intimacy and connection. In therapy, the counter-dependent personality often wishes to flee treatment and avoids referencing to feelings as a defensive mechanism.

However, if you are a counter-dependent person but you want to stop running away from relationships, or if your partner is a counter-dependent person and you want to try to establish a better relationship, this self-paced course is perfect for you.

During this therapeutic course, you will learn what is counter-dependency, how it manifests, where it comes from, and how it disguises itself. You will learn to spot signs and aspects of a counter-dependent relationship, how to overcome them, how to focus on your self-care, and useful techniques for building relationships despite the counter-dependency factor.

The course is available on the Mindspa app. Throughout its duration, new lessons will unlock every day. You will study the theory and you will be tasked with practical exercises, to consolidate your progress and to reinforce new habits. Day after day you will become familiar with new concepts, you will be able to define your needs and to focus on your growth. You will have the opportunity to write notes and answer tasks directly from your phone. Access to the course will remain open forever, even after the last lesson is completed. Furthermore, you will also have access to other resources such as articles, a self-care diary, hundreds of coping-skill exercises and an emergency chatbot.

At the end of the program, you will be able to notice changes in both your way of thinking and in your behaviors. You will start to see life from a completely new perspective.

Our team is composed by several psychologists and psychiatrists, with expertise in various areas of psychology. Each course is created with meticulous attention and its content is reviewed by a minimum of three different mental health professionals, to ensure the highest clinical accuracy and the best quality of content.

Mindspa has been subject to a number of independent reviews, in which it has received the highest ratings of approval. Its resources apply various therapeutic techniques to help you manage your mental health, including CBT and Gestalt therapy. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is one of the most effective ways of treatment; it empowers you to change the way you think, feel and behave towards a particular activity – giving you an opportunity to control your behaviours. Gestalt is a form of therapy which emphasises personal responsibility; its goal is to teach you to become aware of significant sensations within yourself and your environment so that you can respond fully and reasonably to situations that can pose as potential triggers. Multiple studies have also shown effectiveness in the use of conversational AI-based features, like Mindspa chatbot, that have proven to improve users’ mental health and shown the ability to create a therapeutic bond with them.

Scientific references:

(1) Marciniak, Shanahan, Rohde, Schulz, et al. “Standalone Smartphone Cognitive Behavioral Therapy–Based Ecological Momentary Interventions to Increase Mental Health: Narrative Review“. JMIR Mhealth Uhealth 2020; 8(11): e19836 DOI: 10.2196/19836

(2) McCashin, Coyle, O’Reilly. “Qualitative Synthesis of Young People’s Experiences With Technology-Assisted Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Systematic Review“. J Med Internet Res 2019; 21(11): e13540 DOI: 10.2196/13540

(3) Matzko, Helga M. Gennant, and Helga M. Gennant Matzko. “A Gestalt Therapy Treatment Approach for Addictions: ‘Multiphasic Transformation Process.” Gestalt Review, vol. 1, no. 1, 1997, pp. 34–55. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/44394010.

(4) Ahmed, Ali, Aziz, Hassan, Khalifa, et al. “A review of mobile chatbot apps for anxiety and depression and their self-care features“. Science Direct, 2021; https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cmpbup.2021.100012

(5) Parmar, Ryu, Pandya, Sedoc and Agarwal. “Health-focused conversational agents in person-centered care: a review of apps“. NPJ Digital Medicine, 2022; https://doi.org/10.1038/s41746-022-00560-6