Toxic relationships are relationships that poison us in the same way that toxic substances poison the body: they bring pain, provoke feelings of guilt, shame, anxiety, and fear, damage self-esteem, and destroy our self-image.
How to end them when the “diagnosis” has already been made and you are certain that you no longer want to be in such a relationship?
1. Ask yourself: What do I have to lose if I leave?
Here you will need to analyze what is good in these relationships, why you are here, and what they give you. At this stage, you may find that happiness and joy have long since disappeared, and everything rests on your patience and fear of losing something.
2. Write a list of the good and bad things in the relationship.
Just do not engage in making up excuses and interpretations – such a temptation may arise. Only the facts!
3. Adjust your social circle.
Who surrounds you? Do you have a “support network” – friends or relatives whom you can lean on, and who will not say that “it’s your own fault”? Connect with those who are truly on your side.
4. Analyze your locus of control.
You can control your thoughts, your behavior, and your choices. You cannot control his/her thoughts, his/her behavior, or his/her choices. If it seems to you that you can change him or her, you are definitely mistaken. If you think that everything will resolve by itself – you are wrong here too.
5. Start taking care of yourself.
It’s not as easy as it seems. Taking care of yourself isn’t just about taking a bubble bath or having a latte at your favorite coffee shop. It’s more about taking care of your feelings and needs. Think about your dreams, goals, and plans. In a toxic relationship, there are a lot of thoughts about the other person, and it’s time to shift the focus to yourself.
Self-therapy can be an essential tool for personal growth and self-improvement.
Browse through our courses and see the positive changes they can bring to your life.
You are not sure where to begin?
6. Write what you must endure in this relationship.
Remember everything that upsets, hurts, disappoints, or offends you. This list will help at the stage when you want to return, and you ask yourself: what if it wasn’t so bad?
7. Seek help from a psychologist.
If you feel that it is too difficult to cope and the feelings of guilt, shame, anger, fear, and anxiety overwhelm you – a specialist will help you work through an avalanche of feelings and provide the necessary support. Getting out of a toxic relationship is very difficult and requires a lot of strength.
8. Think about what kind of relationship you want.
Most likely, you have already realized that you do not want the kind of relationship you have now. So, what do you want? Try to imagine and compare it with your current relationship.
9. Get ready for a difficult period.
Leaving a relationship is difficult. Complicated feelings will stir up. You may encounter your partner’s manipulations, feelings of pity, sympathy, fear, and guilt. There will come a time when you will want to return. This is fine. Think about who you can turn to for help at such moments, how can you help yourself?
10. Take the first step.
“A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” Start it. You’ll be fine.
Help us grow on Instagram 👇
