My loved one is an anxious person

All of us have unique personality traits. Some of us are impulsive, others are shy, some are risk-takers, some tend to worry a lot, etc. Let us talk about “worriers” and how to behave if your loved one is an anxious person.

Anxious people perceive the world as dangerous. They see it as full of threats. Under no circumstances they should let their guard down – this may turn out badly. For this very reason, they are always careful and keep everything under their vigilant control. This is how they interact with reality. In any situation, they first see risk and potential danger for themselves and their loved ones. Any uncertain situation is a source of strong anxiety. In such circumstances, they often imagine the most horrible developments and try to anticipate everything that may or may not happen and get ready for it.

It is easy to see that a person who is not characterized by anxiety to such an extent will have difficulties understanding what is going on in the internal world of a person who always worries about something. But the fact that we don’t understand something doesn’t mean that we should wave it off as a buzzing fly.

Let’s first agree on the following: personal traits are not disorders. If your loved one is an anxious person try not to act as if something is wrong with them because this is very unnerving and makes an anxious and suspicious person even more anxious and suspicious.

So, how should you behave?

• Do not discount their worries with phrases like: “Stop making things up”, “Don’t be silly!”, and never-ever say the words “Calm down”.
• Be reliable, calm, and confident. Confidence tends to be transmitted to those around you. If an anxious person feels safe with you, they will relax and calm down.
• Help them “disassemble” their worries.

Is your friend worried that they will miss their flight? But even if this does happen – it is unpleasant, but not lethal.

Discuss with them the most unfavorable developments and suggest focusing on real consequences and real actions (for example, booking the next flight). It helps them to see the situation from a different, more constructive, angle.

• Suggest them to see a specialist in cognitive-behavioral therapy. It works very well for anxiety and the quality of life of your loved one may improve considerably.

If your loved one is an anxious person, the best thing you can do is not to leave them alone with their worries, but also not to fall with them into the maelstrom of imaginary dangers and endless control.