How to teach yourself good habits?

Who doesn’t want to plant a seed of a new good habit that may help become healthier, happier, fitter, etc. (whatever your dream is)?

And who has not encountered a disappointing failure, time after time? It seems that you are trying very hard, but it still takes an enormous amount of energy to get yourself to go for a run/drink more water/write in your gratitude journal. And getting started with a new habit is even more difficult.

But you do want it! And you understand that you need it! In other words, you have the desire and motivation – so, what is the problem then?

Let us figure this out.

Let us start with the definition. A habit is an automatic action that you associate with a certain signal (the trigger of the habit). Doing this action brings you a feeling of pleasure. It means that you do a certain action “on autopilot”. If you force yourself to do something (situps, doing dishes right after the meal, getting up at 5:30 AM), it means that it is a conscious goal-oriented behavior, not a habit. These are two different things.

How to form a habit? There is only one way: continuous repetition. There is a certain catalyst that launches the action, then the action itself happens, and (very important) it is followed by reinforcement.

For example, let say that you decided to do yoga every day, even though before you were not into physical activity at all. You can use as a catalyst a certain ringtone installed on your phone. Then you do the action itself – you practice yoga. And after some time, you see the result – you love your calm and focus mental state and your fit body. This is how reinforcement happens.

There is an opinion that it takes 21 days to form any habit. In reality, it is just a myth. In most cases, 21 days is not enough to form and reinforce a habit.

The first stage is resistance to change. If you underestimate this very important factor, you may fail to form a new habit. You must know that resistance and even regression are normal when trying to form a new habit. If you are feeling resistance – call it by its name. Do not use words like “failure”, “all is lost”, “well, what can you do…”. It is a normal stage that signals that you are making an effort. Therefore, you can start tomorrow from the same place and move forward.

To summarize, here are the steps that you should not skip if you firmly decided to form a new habit:

1. Preparation

Do not start on a whim or based on “I decided that half an hour ago”, but by building a plan. State your intention – you can write it down. Find support – any form of support will work: from “let’s count calories together” to “good job!”. Tell about your intention to your close people – this will provide additional help if you decide to quit (and this may happen more than once). Create a list of possible difficulties (“My body may feel sore, but only at the beginning”, “I would not want to get up earlier to go for a run, but everyone feels this way”).

2. Monitor your progress.

If you do not do it, your brain may lose interest in this activity that is consuming its energy. If this happens, you can say your new habit goodbye. How can you monitor your progress? Here are some options: journal your measurements, feelings, mental state, etc. Do not skip this – every new plus or a checkmark indicating that the new habit is forming will add more optimism and provide visual support.

3. Broaden your opportunities for interaction with the new habit.

Add reminders in your phone, put a motivational slogan on a wall, add a picture representing the desired outcome in a conspicuous place. One person we know put in her closet the trousers that represented her ideal figure that she was trying to reach by running every morning. Another great way to remain motivated is by reporting your progress to like-minded people either virtually (through online groups) or in person.

4. Reward yourself!

Do you remember Pavlov and his dogs? We are not that different from animals when it comes to forming a conditioned response. The formula is stimulus – reaction – reward. Think of the prizes you could give yourself for following your routine for three days in a row, for example. Whenever we finish some small task, our body releases the hormone dopamine. This is a very important part of the brain’s “reward system”.

It is not easy to form new habits, but it brings a lot of benefits!

Do you remember the old proverb: “Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”? Does it inspire or scare you? If the latter, you must start building new habits right away!