By “serious conversation” we mean a conversation with a significant other that affects you emotionally and can have various consequences. It’s really better to prepare for such a conversation.
1. Choose your moment.
Place and time can play a significant role in the outcome of the conversation. You shouldn’t choose a public place for an intimate topic, or start a conversation about how you are tired of his mother before you go to bed. It also makes sense to check with the interlocutor whether it is convenient for him to spend some time for a conversation now, and if not – to clarify when it will be comfortable.
2. Think about the main goal of the conversation.
Keep in your head what message you want to convey. Don’t be distracted by side aspects in the form of past grievances and don’t get stuck in the details. One conversation has to have one clear message.
3. Prepare yourself well.
It is important to think about the first words and practice in advance! The beginning is very important and sets the tone for the whole conversation, so it should be peaceful and calm. The training will help you “hear” yourself from the outside and replace inconvenient or potentially conflicting formulations.
4. Arm yourself with arguments.
Write down at least 10 of your points “for” and 10 points of your opponent “against”. Assume the most obvious objections of the interlocutor and think about the counterarguments.
5. Stay in “their shoes”.
If the result of the conversation should be a general decision on some significant topic, it makes sense to look at the situation from the perspective of another person.
To do this, ask yourself: “How can it be useful to him?” This may change the course of your argument.
6. Come up with an ending.
The conversation can end in different ways, this is natural. Prepare for any outcome: think of ways to retreat if things don’t go as you would like; don’t burn all the bridges (slam the door and so on), but rather think about how to act in a situation if the desired result isn’t achieved.
7. Create a mood.
Your emotional state will set the tone of the conversation, so make sure that it’s stable, confident and calm (as much as possible).
In order to create such a mood, use the “Superman pose”: Stand up straight, put shoulders back, chin pointing slightly up, hands at the waist, and legs apart at hip width. Feel how you are filled with power, and keep this position for 2 minutes. Try to breathe deeply and rhythmically.
Good luck!
