Emotional immaturity, psychological immaturity, infantilism – we use these terms to describe the same phenomenon, which is easy to identify by the features we describe below.
For convenience, in this article, we denote an emotionally immature person by the abbreviation EIP.
So, let’s list the most common signs of emotional immaturity:
1. Inability to make decisions independently
An EIP does not make decisions themselves. They shift this responsibility to other people: their parents, friends, partners, or even their children. The word “responsibility” scares them so much that they try to avoid it at any cost. By the way, they also often blame others for their failures: circumstances, colleagues, family, etc.
2. The lack of separation from the parents
Usually, an adult is separated from their parents, but an EIP often maintains a close emotional connection with their mother and/or father. The parents can control their behavior and impose their rules. The boundaries between an adult child and their parent are erased. EIPs often live with their parents, despite being grown-ups. They often feel the need to justify themselves or consult their parent. They experience guilt if they do something against their parents’ will.
3. Inability to draw conclusions and change their behavior
Time and time again EIPs fall into the same trap but learn nothing. For example, if an EIP submits a poorly written report and receives a reprimand from their boss – the boss is to blame (he does not appreciate them) or the colleagues are to blame (they didn’t help with the report). Everyone is at fault but themselves. It means that an EIP does not learn anything from this experience and the next time, the situation will be repeated.
4. Running away from difficulties
A mature person meets difficulties head-on and tries to correct the situation. EIPs escape into all sorts of addictions (alcohol, drugs, games) or simply run away. For example, they may run from the scene of an accident, not offer an apology when they offended someone, disappear from the radar when their partner is having problems, or avoid difficult conversations. It is typical for them to go “soul searching” in Goa, Bali, or Tibet – as long as they don’t need to face the realities of life.
5. Unjustified demands and expectations
Everyone should understand and sympathize with them (and if they don’t, they are bad people). Everyone should accommodate them. Everyone should behave the way an EIP wants them to act. Often, an EIP presents themselves as a victim – they want others to be kinder, more attentive, and accommodating towards them…
6. Inability to manage feelings and emotions
As a rule, EIPs find it difficult to navigate their emotional world. Accordingly, they also “do not feel” other people, which means that they often violate the psychological boundaries of others. They have great difficulty understanding their feelings and displaying empathy towards others. Their emotions can burst out uncontrollably or be locked inside, like a heavy load, not being processed.
Emotional immaturity is a big problem for an adult. And, of course, it is rooted in childhood. The best way to work with this is in therapy, where a person can gradually learn to take responsibility for their life.
However, at Mindspa we fully understand that therapy can also become very expensive. That’s why we’ve asked our therapists to create an online therapeutic program that is both affordable and effective.
The outcome of this effort is the course “Emotional Intelligence” linked below.
But here’s the best part: you can try the course for 3 days with no obligation. And if you enter the code ‘DISCOUNT50‘ at checkout, you’ll even get 50% off on the already discounted price!
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