Waiting for a diagnosis

Things happen in life. Sometimes we or our close people have to go through a difficult period of waiting for the results of analysis, research or words of the doctor, which can divide life into “before” and “after.”

Waiting takes away a huge amount of strength, and suspense – more terrible than a clear diagnosis. The feeling of impending disaster deprives the opportunity to eat, sleep and enjoy life.

What if ?..

When the health, quality of life and even life itself are threatened, we are going through the same stages as when we experience loss, and it’s good to know how we can help a close person or yourself along the way.

How to help another person:

– to say out loud that EVERYONE is worried, absolutely everybody. To be worried in such situation is alright. It’ll let a person to admit his anxious, not to run away from it, and also it’ll help to feel that he’s a normal person.

– give your close person an opportunity to talk about his anxiety, listen to his worries without attempts to imagine the situation safe;

– ask what kind of help/support he needs now? What exactly could you help with now?

– offer to determine the probability of a certain outcome. For example, a person is afraid of HIV infection, and he is not in the risk zone and has no unprotected contacts. Despite the fact that scanty opportunity always exists – probably, in this case it’s extremely low.

– help a person to distract for a period of waiting: to go somewhere, to do an interesting activity, to immerse in work everything will be better than an agonizing experience of the overflowing waves of anxiety;

– Ask him what advice he would give a friend with the same anxiety? What is it better to do to cope with this situation?

– ask: “Can you influence something now? “Sometimes  this question brings back to reality from a world of gloomy premonitions and assumptions;

Not recommended:

– to prohibit “thinking about the bad.” If a person is worried – anyway he will do it, but thinking  about the painful thoughts alone;

– to say phrases such as: “Well, what’s the use of your experiences?”, “You are overthinking,” “just calm down,” “Forget it!” – all this devalues the anxiety of the person and gives him  a reason to doubt the adequacy of his feelings and himself;

How to help yourself:

–  admit your anxiety, call him: “Yes, I am worried and afraid now.” It could be better to understand what is it exactly – unnamed fears are stronger.

 – Talk to someone, don’t  stay with these thoughts alone.  Share your worries with a person, who can support you. It’ll be better, if a person is not from the tribe of “rabid optimists” who prefer not to notice “bad” feelings and emotions; 

– if the anxiety is so strong that it’s literally paralyzing – try to agree with him: “I worry so much that it prevents me from working/sleeping/doing the necessary things. So I’ll put the anxiety on at 7:30 p.m. and worry for 20 minutes without interruption.” Mentally push away the anxiety and do other things. At 19: 30, sit down and think through all the terrible options. And at 19.50 go and do something useful or pleasant;

– remind yourself that you will be anxious or will not – this will not affect the result. At the moment, you have done everything that is possible, and so far you can’t influence anything else;

– if anxiety overwhelms –  do breathing exercises, physical exercise, draw your fear – you can use any techniques recommended during dealing with anxiety, fear.

Be healthy, friends.