You’ve probably heard of codependency somewhere before. There are high chances that some of you had to work with this problem.
Codependency is a certain trend in relationships. When a person seems to replace himself with another, he tends to merge with a partner (or friend, child, work). In this intricate way, codependent people try to protect themselves from their worst fear. They are really afraid of being abandoned.
Here are the main signs of codependency.
Basic and typical thoughts:
- “I can’t do it alone (on my own)”;
- “If I behave correctly, he (she) will change”;
- “He (she) can’t live without me; they will die” (this is a thought about an adult person);
- “I will find myself in a relationship”;
- “I can be happy only in relationships”;
- “I can’t be a happy person without having a relationship”;
- “I have to live up to other people’s expectations.”
Typical feelings and states:
- anxiety (usually chronic);
- fear of being left alone;
- irrational guilt and shame;
- frequent insults;
- a feeling of worthlessness;
- all-consuming jealousy.
Typical behavior:
- partner control (endless calls, checking the phone, things, etc);
- attempts to save a person, do something for him (hiding alcohol, looking for a job for your partner, etc);
- avoiding quarrels and conflicts;
- unwillingness to make decisions about your life;
- justification of partner’s bad behavior;
- manipulations;
- the tendency to put the other person’s interests above their own.
Let’s be honest with you: In most cases, you can only defeat codependency by working with a psychologist. This is roughly like an antibiotic required for a bacterial infection. But it is also important to support yourself with vitamins. You know that doctors always prescribe them when it comes to dealing with serious illnesses.
Therefore, we have compiled a list of “vitamins” for you: Hobbies and activities that can significantly help you to move forward in the process of overcoming the codependency trend.
1. Volunteering and charity.
If you always want to save people, you can put your will in the right direction: Start helping those who really need it.
Volunteering is selfless assistance that is carried out on a voluntary basis. Volunteers are needed in many places: Hospices, homes for the elderly people, animal shelters and so on. If you have enough money, you can organise your own charity fund.
If it is difficult for you to directly contact with the pain of other people, you can engage in social networks of charitable foundations, post important information and do other similar things.
2. Play in the theater.
It is not necessary to enter a school. It is enough to find a studio for adults. And move all the dramas, tragedies, tragicomedies from relationships to the stage.
This will help to play back your injuries, emotionally unload, and create some space for healthy love.
Have you heard about an entire direction in psychotherapy? It’s called psychodrama. It is also a great option.
3. Physical activity.
In the majority of cases, co-dependent people don’t have enough will and strength. At the same time, one needs a lot of it to deal with the codependency. Regular exercise is a great way to cure the body and grow the will and strength. You will learn to follow the schedule, you will notice changes, both in self-perception and in relationships.
In addition, it’s extremely important for you to establish contact with your body, because it has to be broken if you are trying to find shelter in the co-dependency.
Choose any type of physical loads, which you like. It can be gym, swimming, dancing, stretching, pilates, and boxing.
4. Climbing.
This is an excellent source of impressions (and they in turn give energy) and a way to strengthen the following positions: “I am strong” and “I can.” These positions are great help in regaining power over your life.
5. Vocal studies.
A specific “throat clip” is a frequent companion of co-dependent people. The reason is hidden in suppressed feelings and emotions. Vocal lessons will remove these shackles, release the throat and give an incomparable feeling of freedom.
6. Flower arrangement and flowers in general.
Let’s start with the fact that it is beautiful. And all beautiful things charge us with positive energy. Secondly, by thinking about the fact that you are creating something beautiful with your own hands is important, necessary, and supportive. Thirdly, these classes are about fine motor skills, which means that they significantly help to relieve anxiety.
Choose what you like and get started. Just remember that the key to success is regularity.
Take care of yourself!
