To be heard you need to start talking

We were not born with a fear of self-expression. We acquired it during our life. Our first act after being born is an inhale, our second act is a scream, a cry… Back then, in our first moments of life, our voice was pure, resonant, and very loud. We could scream for a long time, and there was no dryness, no sore throat. There was no tension in the shoulder area. We were not embarrassed in front of our first audience – the doctors in the room… All this came later, as we gained life experience. And since we were able to acquire all these fears, clamps, and tension, we can get rid of them!

Voice coach Vitaliy Tikhomirov (instagram @tikhomirov_vt) selected simple and effective techniques to help you get rid of the fear that arises before the public speaking or having a conversation.

Imagine that in a few minutes, you need to go on stage or sit down at the negotiating table. Your breath gets hampered, your heart starts to pound, you feel hot and sweaty, and a little nauseous. This condition, let’s face it, is unpleasant. Let’s figure out what happens to your body at this moment. The heartbeat becomes more frequent. Due to this, your blood circulation accelerates. A large amount of adrenaline is released into your bloodstream. This adrenaline must be “dumped” somehow – here any physical exercise is suitable. You can squat or jump a little.

Another option is muscle relaxation techniques. Flex all the muscles of the body – as much as possible. Squeeze your palms, hands, fingers, jaw, hold your breath, and stay in this state for 10-15 seconds. Then exhale slowly and relax. Some of the excess adrenaline will go away. Your body will feel more comfortable and safer.

What is important to consider?

Public speaking is always stressful. You can be afraid of being evaluated or failing. Perhaps, you have some negative experiences (we all had to present our homework at school and felt ashamed and embarrassed). But the first thing you need to understand is that the people who came to your presentation want to hear from you. It absolutely doesn’t matter whether you are presenting in a conference room in front of your colleagues, in a large hall in front of a huge audience, or one on one with a very important and imposing person. What is important is that this situation was formed with some credit of trust. This conversation is desired. It is necessary for both parties – for you and for your audience.

Another important thing you need to know is that the responsibility for the success of your presentation is equally shared between you and your audience. From your side, you should be ready, of course. But your audience too must be ready to hear and receive the information. It is absolutely wrong to take all the responsibility for the success or failure of your talk on yourself. Both parties are responsible for everything that will happen. The speaker is the person who conveys the information. And the audience or your interlocutor must receive this information. For the communication to be successful both parties need to be open. If your audience is not ready – you will not be able to connect with them. And if you are not ready to open to your audience – you will not be able to establish contact. But when both parties are ready – that’s when the magic happens…

You need to go to the podium thinking that you and your audience are not two opposing sides, but that you are on the same team. You have the same objective.

Let’s return to practice and work on muscle spasms.

Spams in the jaw area are probably familiar to all of us. When your jaw is tense, it is impossible to articulate clearly. In order to remove these spams, do the following exercise. 

Simply count aloud to ten and listen to your voice. Pay attention if there is tension in the jaw area. 

Now create some extra tension: clench your teeth as much as possible and count to ten.

To achieve an even better result, we will add one more constraint. Put your finger between your teeth and clamp it firmly. Now count to 10 aloud again. Make your lips move actively. You need to articulate every number very clearly.

There is a similar exercise with a bottle cork. But the cork will not give you as many sensations and you will be not able to feel how firmly you are clamping your jaws. But when because of tension you start biting your finger – you will immediately know how tense you are. And you will have to relax your muscles so that you wouldn’t hurt yourself.

One more excellent technique is called “Warm exhale”.

Imagine that it starts snowing around you. It doesn’t matter where this is happening: at your house, in your car, or on a plane. Big snowflakes are slowly falling. Some of them are landing on your hands. Your task is to use your warm breath to melt them.

Bring your palms to your mouth and start breathing warmly on them. If you are feeling the warmth on your palms, it means you are doing this exercise correctly. Do another ten warm exhales. Each one should be longer than the previous one. While exhaling open your mouth a little wider and lower and relax your jaw.

When you slow down your breath, you make it warmer and more conscious. What happens at this moment? Your larynx, ligaments, muscles of the mouth, and lips are warmed up for high-quality sound. This exercise also relieves dry mouth and sore throat that may occur during prolonged speaking.

These exercises help not only to get rid of clamps but also to focus attention, to be more composed.

 What else do we have left? Of course, trembling voice.

You can (and should) get rid of it.

For the voice not to tremble and sound confident, the first thing we need to do is work on breathing. Our forcefulness and power of speaking and our self-confidence depend on it.

The diaphragm is the main muscle involved in breathing. Let’s work on it.

Put your hands on the stomach and exhale shortly and sharply on the consonant “F”. Exhale loudly, as if you are pushing something away from you as you exhale. Your abs will work actively – compression-relaxation, compression-relaxation. You need to breathe in this way for at least a minute or until you feel dizzy. Together with the abs, the diaphragm also begins to work. It works like a pump. When you engage your diaphragm, your voice sounds more confident and the tremors disappear.

Tremors appear due to uneven breathing. As soon as the breathing becomes even, the sound evens out, becomes smoother and more voluminous, the movement appears in it, and it begins to captivate and hold the audience’s attention. It is the breath that controls the confidence in your voice. This exercise in the literal sense of the word pumps the muscle that is involved in the process of sound production.

To sound confident, you need to feel the power of your voice. To strengthen it, do the following exercise. Imagine that you are a cow, and just… moo. Allow yourself to fool around, play, relax, and get your fill of mooing. If you managed to feel the vibration on your lips, then you are doing the exercise correctly. Now, these vibrations need to be strengthened.

Imagine that the grass is getting tastier and tastier, and you try to manifest all this in the sound. You hum, stretching the sound: “Moo-oo”. The vibrations will be more noticeable. The voice will become more voluminous and confident. It will convey a sense of strength, clear positioning, and knowledge of the material.

Your voice is your main communication tool today. The quality of your sound will affect how the audience perceives you.

By learning to control your voice, you will get a truly golden key that opens many doors.