Let’s imagine that your relationship with your partner is a road. You are walking along it together.
“But where to?” – you might want to ask.
Here is the first surprise!
You are going nowhere, but in the best sense of the word.
After all, all kinds of important events, such as moving in together, getting married, buying a flat together, getting a pet, having children – are major stretches of the way, but not its end.
Just like the “happy future” you envision with your loved one is not a moment in time, not a still frame from the final scene of a movie, but a PROCESS.
Thus, in a relationship you and your partner are constantly moving somewhere, going along your shared path.
You are curious, you are holding hands, you study the environment together, choose where to turn and where to look.
And at some point you find yourself in a really nasty place. It may be deep woods, a swamp, an abyss, or vice versa – an enormous mountain that you have no idea how to cross, a roadside motel with cockroaches and rusty water.
From a fun and pleasant walk, your common path turns into a mess.
What do you do?
Self-therapy can be an essential tool for personal growth and self-improvement.
Browse through our courses and see the positive changes they can bring to your life.
You are not sure where to begin?
Usually people start playing the blame game.
Who said we should turn here? Who promised that they knew the way and would lead us to the right place? And who was whining and didn’t let me focus? And so on.
And they will find the culprit.
And then start the demands: you messed up, so you go fix it.
At first glance, it may be fair. Indeed, the one who led you to the wrong place has to get you out of there.
But in this case you turn from allies into enemies, into the “bad guy” and the “victim of the bad guy”.
Is there much chance to get out of trouble when the individuals involved are at each other’s throats?
No, there isn’t.
So it’s important to ask yourself:
– Do I want to be right, or to be happy?
– Do I want us to overcome this, or do I want retribution?
– Do I care more about our relationship, or about justice?
And if you choose your relationship, then it’s important to separate your partner from the problem.
There is your loved one. And there is the problem that you need to solve together. And it doesn’t matter who brought it about. It’s just a problem.
Why together? Because it’s a RELATIONSHIP. We share both the good and the bad in a relationship.
This approach first reduces tension in the couple. And, second, it helps the partners to tune into togetherness.
Togetherness is the most important condition for getting over crisis. It helps people deal with all kinds of challenges.
The road with your partner won’t be even.
It will be at times straight, and at times winding, smooth, and then bumpy, picturesque, and then somber and unfriendly. Plains will turn into mountains, sometimes you’ll have to wade across rivers, and swamps are also quite common.
But if you learn to overcome these obstacles based on the principle of togetherness, your path will be long, and for the most part beautiful.
Help us grow on Instagram 👇
