The most important characteristic of a sadist is their desire for absolute power, and in order to achieve this goal, they will endlessly try to enslave their partner to make them helpless, submissive.
People with a sadistic accentuation of character have extremely low emotional intelligence. Therefore, they are in dire need of strong emotional stresses, which regularly please both themselves and others. Only in this way can they feel any taste for life.
Signs by which you can recognize a sadist:
- A desire to dominate.
- A propensity for physical violence, verbal, and non-verbal aggression.
- Total control; disrespect for personal boundaries.
- Passive aggression, humiliation, name-calling.
- Devaluation. Your achievements are not achievements, your failures are, well, what more can be expected from you?
- Targeting your vulnerabilities: fears, complexes.
- Distrust of everyone and everything.
- Using people.
- Obsessive care justified with “I know what’s best for you.”
- Rules, threats, blackmail.
Sadism and good relations are incompatible. No matter what connects you: love, friendship, blood ties, warmth, understanding, acceptance, support, and care, you cannot expect all this from such a person. Therefore, it is best to stay away from these people.
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However, while we can choose our husband, wife, friends… relatives, on the other hand, colleagues, and necessary business partners, for example, are sometimes needed, despite the difficulties in communication. In this case, consider using a few simple recommendations to save yourself.
1. Hold your ground
The main way you can survive when in contact with a sadist is by having boundaries. Above all, internal boundaries. If you clearly understand what is acceptable to your person and what is not, consider your barricades securely reinforced.
2. Protect yourself
From attacks, from trespassing on your boundaries, from trying to shut you down. Remember, once you give in to one demand, you get another. It’s impossible to satisfy a sadist.
3. Don’t let them get too close
Don’t talk about your personal life, don’t share your worries, don’t ask for help or support. You won’t find anything here but depreciation.
4. Don’t be silent.
If a sadist crosses the limits of reason, uses poison, aggression, be sure to mention it. As a rule, people of this type have a painful attitude towards the destruction of their ideal image. The publicity is terrible for them. At the least, you should be putting billboards up.
5. Don’t give in to manipulation.
Don’t play games with a sadist. They feed on emotions. The less you give them, the faster they’ll leave.
6. Run for cover
It’s very important that you have areas of life where the sadist won’t have access. The bigger this area of yours, the better for you.
7. Don’t try to heal them.
A sadist is cruel not because of you, but because they have a serious mental disorder. It’s “treatable” with only psychotherapy, and there’s no other way.
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