Who among us has never ridden the emotional swing?
Experiencing breakup is especially often associated with intensive mood swings.
One day you have a burning desire to start a new life and never think about this person again, and the next day you cry uncontrollably because you miss them and don’t know how to move on.
Here are some simple and useful steps to help you stabilize.
Step One: Legalize the swing
Stop beating yourself about it, blaming yourself, stop thinking that you aren’t normal. A part of you is suffering so much and trying to cope with the pain. This part needs your support, understanding and acceptance.
Give yourself the right to experience different states, different moods. Without judging.
Step Two: Get into the position of strength
Yes, all your emotions and states are legal, normal.
But you are stronger and bigger than them.
You can choose:
– how deep you plunge into them;
– how you respond;
– what space you allocate to them;
Allow yourself to experience complicated emotions, but don’t get overwhelmed by them.
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Step Three: Get ready for rough days
Going through breakup, it’s almost impossible to evade the hard time when you feel horrible for no particular reason.
Knowing this, you can prepare for such days in order to get through them more easily.
Figure out how exactly you will support yourself: whom you’ll call, what you’ll do to distract yourself, what warming books, quotes or movies you’ll watch/read.
Make a plan in case the swing goes down.
Step Four: Analyze
Observe carefully when it gets worse and when it gets better. And use “rewind”.
You are feeling good now, what was happening before that? What triggers positive emotions in you?
Or, by contrast, you’re feeling bad. What happened before that?
This way you’ll become aware that there are certain triggers, and it’s better to get around them, but there are also things that have a positive impact on your condition.
Step five: Allow yourself to be happy
Even in the darkest times of our lives we get occasional bright days. And you need to be able to enjoy them. After all, it’s so easy to ruin your own happiness with thoughts like: “actually, I feel really bad, so what am I so happy about?!”, or “I shouldn’t have these feelings now”, or “I’m feeling good now, so something bad will definitely happen later”.
Open up to the positive, boost your happiness (the same way you boost your pain or fear in dark times).
Please remember that pain won’t last forever. And the more mindful you are of yourself, the faster this period of going through breakup will pass.
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