We all have been in a situation when a seemingly “innocent” question made us feel confused, anxious, annoyed or even angry.
These feelings indicate that the person has crossed your personal boundaries.
How can you defend yourself? Let’s see:
Laugh it off
“I’m afraid I’ll have to keep the intrigue!”
“Oh, it’s a big, big secret! I‘ve signed a non-disclosure agreement”
“There’s a good joke on this subject…”
“I feel like a big star being interviewed on a talk show. By the way, have you seen the show with…?”
“Shhh, the walls have ears!”
Humor reduces tension, helps you get into a stronger position and gently shift your interlocutor’s attention to something else.
Act distant
“I’m not ready to talk about it now”
“Now is not the right time/place to discuss it”
“Not today, okay? I’m not really in the mood to talk about it”
“Let’s leave it for another time. Better tell me…”
Distancing yourself from the subject is a good neutral tactic to defend your personal boundaries. It is suitable for people who are anxious not to offend even an unpleasant interlocutor.
Self-therapy can be an essential tool for personal growth and self-improvement.
Browse through our courses and see the positive changes they can bring to your life.
You are not sure where to begin?
Act stupid
“I’ve never thought about it…”
“Oh, you know, I have no idea. It’s a good question, I’ll think it over”.
“Oh, you just pointed out to me something I didn’t even have time to think about”.
“You baffled me with your question. I’ll think it over”.
Acting stupid means pretending that you have no idea what the person is talking about. This allows you to slide off the subject smoothly.
Cut them off
“This is a personal question and I don’t want to discuss it”.
“I don’t see why you need to know this”.
“I don’t discuss my personal life/body/work/views”
“I don’t think we are that close to discuss this matter”
“I find this question rude and tactless, let’s drop this subject”
Answers like that clearly outline your boundaries and let your interlocutor know that they have crossed the line.
Escape
“I’m afraid I have to go, it was great to see you, bye!”
“I’m sorry, I just remembered I had to do something…I have to leave”
“Wow, we’ve been chatting for so long! I’ve got to run, have a great evening!”
“Sorry, I need to go”
Escaping from the situation is a great legitimate way to break off an unpleasant conversation.
Remember: in order to feel calm and confident interacting with any person, you have to not only read a lot and try out different phrases, but also improve your overall communication skills. You can do this by entering our course Connect. Look for it in the Courses section.
Help us grow on Instagram 👇
