Life often tests our resilience. It is not always possible to stay alert, be in a good shape, and not give in to anxiety. When the strength is running out, it seems that falling into anxiety and despair is the only possible option. But Baron Munchausen pulled himself out of the swamp by his hair, remember? And this is not a bad strategy!
At such moments, we need to find simple supportive words – both for ourselves and for the people around us who are worried.
The thing is that our brain reacts to thoughts and phrases. Therefore, it is very important to choose them correctly. If you exclaim “We are doomed!”, you will have a corresponding reaction.
1. This too shall pass.
Do you remember the fable about King Solomon and his ring? The ring was engraved with the words “This too shall pass” and it helped him to survive all adversities. This is precisely the purpose of these words. Nothing lasts forever. Any trouble will surely end: the visit to the dentist will end, the exams will be passed, the unpleasant conversation will be over. Remind yourself of this.
2. Will I worry about this in a year? / Will you worry about this in a year?
This also allows us to reduce the time we spend worrying and calm down. Yes, now you are worried about how the conversation with your boss will go, or you are seething with righteous anger because they forgot to warn you that your massage appointment was postponed. But is it necessary to spend your energy on this? Will this concern you in a year?
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3. I will deal with this. / You will deal with this.
When we speak with ourselves in a confident tone, we believe what we say. This phrase has the effect of some self-hypnosis, which helps to build a bridge from anxiety to calmness.
4. Can I influence these events? / Can you influence these events?
You can spend time pacing the room and gnawing at the pen or do something else – this will not change the outcome. So do not forget to ask yourself this question. It reduces your anxiety by about half.
5. I can choose not to worry. / You can choose to react differently in this situation.
Quite a lot depends on the choice and internal resolve. We can indeed choose our reactions. Reminding ourselves of this fact helps reactions of anxiety to dissipate sooner. Reclaiming the right to be in control of your emotions is healing in itself – now it is not the emotion that guides you, but you are controlling your emotion.
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