Wouldn’t it be awesome if we were given a list of books to read about every important topic in life? And it would be like in school: you read the books, you understand the subject so that you are no longer confused about it, and you are 100% ready for the exam. But unfortunately, this is not how it works in real life. Reading books does not guarantee that everything will work out and you will immediately begin to understand things.
However, theoretical knowledge has never hurt anyone, especially if you verify it in practice: by acting, trying, and experimenting. So, here is our list of books that will help you understand a little more about the psychology of yourself and others.
1. Eric Berne “Games People Play”
You may have heard a lot about the Inner Parent, Adult, and Child – this is Eric Berne’s model. This book helps to understand the motives of other people’s behavior (and our own, by the way, which is even more important), as well as to look at the life scenarios that we choose. And, perhaps next time, you can make a different choice.
2. Gary Chapman “The 5 Languages Of Love”
This book describes the five main love languages and explains that we each have our own way of expressing ourselves through these languages. Can you imagine how much information is lost if you speak different languages with your partner? For example, they speak Spanish, and you speak Finnish? Approximately the same happens if we do not understand the language in which our partner speaks in the relationship: words, time, gifts, help, or touch.
3. Alfred Adler “Understanding Human Nature”
It was this author who coined the well-known term “inferiority complex”. In this book, he talks about the adaptation of a person in society, the significance of the period of infancy and early childhood, about the development of character, its unique features, and manifestations.
Adler was convinced that the foundation of any relationship in society is the understanding of other people. And mutual understanding can be achieved only by knowing human nature.
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4. Robert Cialdini “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion”
“No-no, I don’t want to influence anybody!” – you may exclaim. And… you should still read this book. Not so that you could manipulate someone, but avoid being manipulated.
It works the other way around too. This book contains quite a few descriptions of how we are being manipulated by others, the results of interesting social experiments, and recommendations on how to avoid being influenced.
5. James Hollis “Why Good People Do Bad Things”
Our self-image and how other people perceive us often do not coincide with some of our actions. Each of us has a dark side, but we do not want to admit it. It hides in the unconscious and does not require words, because it manifests itself in actions. The author tells how to recognize your Shadow, cope with internal contradictions, change your behavior and reach a new level of awareness of your decisions and actions.
6. Daniel Goleman “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ”
Emotional intelligence is the ability of a person to recognize emotions, to understand the intentions, motivations, and desires of other people and their own, as well as the ability to manage their emotions and the emotions of others to solve practical problems. Undoubtedly, a well-developed EQ is necessary to understand other people.
If you really want to better understand other people, you need to learn to pay attention, analyze the data obtained, and notice emotional expressions. Then you will be successful at understanding others.
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