It would not be an overstatement to say that our pets become our family members. We love them to the moon and back and they take the most special and cozy place in our hearts.
It may be a cat, a dog, a hamster, a parrot, or even an iguana – the size and external appearance do not matter at all. What is important is that they become dear to us, and we give them warmth and care and get something valuable in return.
But at some point, a disaster happens: our beloved pet gets lost, runs away, or dies. The pain of this loss is huge and almost palpable.
When we lose close people, our pain and suffering are well understood by those around us. But the pain of losing a pet can be understood only by those who have or used to have domestic animals. Therefore, we can often hear phrases like these: “Do not be so upset, it’s not like it is a person who died!”, “You can get a new dog!”, “Well, you knew that hamsters don’t live long, right?”
It is very hard to hear these phrases because it feels like your loss is being devalued. “Get a new dog? Seriously? Is a dog an object?”
Grieving the loss of a pet goes through the same stages as the loss of a person. Yes, it is true.
Denial – “No, this can’t be. It must be a bad dream’.
Anger/guilt – “If only I took him to the vet sooner!”, “This vet was completely incompetent! If only he…”.
Negotiation – “If we find him, I will always allow him to sleep in my bed! And I will volunteer at an animal shelter…”
Depression – sinking into grief. “Here is her toy… And here is a whole bag of dog treats… it is so sad and quiet without her!”
Acceptance – slowly returning to normal life. The pain subsides and turns into sadness.
Self-therapy can be an essential tool for personal growth and self-improvement.
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You are not sure where to begin?
How to survive the loss of a beloved pet?
It is important to allow yourself to express all the emotions that are asking to come out: pain, anger, anxiety, and worry. If you want to cry – cry, this is normal. Right now, do not talk to people who want you to pull yourself together and stop being sad. They will not help you to reduce your pain – right the opposite…
But you definitely should talk to people who understand you and are ready to listen. You need emotional support very much.
Do not blame yourself for what has happened. Every one of us can find something where we were not perfect owners. Perhaps, you didn’t pay enough attention, or could have provided better care… But the truth is that we are not supposed to be perfect. We are just humans…
Remove everything that reminds you about your pet – his drinking bowl, toys, and bed. Not so that you could forget sooner, no… But rather so as not to scratch the wound until it heals.
Try to remember not the last difficult hours and minutes, but the good times that you used to spend together – these memories are yours to keep!
The pain will subside – it will not stay with you forever. Give yourself time to recover and experience your feelings fully.
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