Freshen up the relationship?

We’ve put together some cool methods to help you bring a new breath into your relationship, strengthen it, and make it better.  Try it or create your own on these fundamental bases.  

A wishlist board

Everyone can write down their wishes on it from time to time, which are then implemented by you together, or your partner helps you realize them. For example, I want us to ride bikes in the park on the weekend. Or I want you to give me a massage on Friday. Obviously, the wishes have to be realistic and achievable. And you can introduce some rules; let’s say everyone can write 2 or 3 wishes a week on the list so that it doesn’t end up being one person writing and the other executing. There can be not only wishes, but also suggestions, like “Let’s go to Lake Baikal for a week in June” or “Let’s clean the house on Saturday”. You can think of something of your own with this board. For example, you can draw sad or funny smileys on it in the morning, telling your partner about your mood. It can be fun and interesting. And here you can be creative.

Teatime

You probably drink tea every day. And often, it happens automatically. You just pour it and drink it. Or you could turn it into some kind of ritual by preparing for the ceremony in advance. You could, for example, make it a reconciliation ritual after a fight. Or you can assign a certain theme for a tea party, but one that will be interesting to each person. For example, “Tea ceremonies: the traditions of different nations” or “Italy: Country of Love”, or “BMW motorcycle model lineup”. (You can write the name on the wishlist board in advance.) And everyone prepares for this topic. And you discuss it over tea. Or you can drink tea in silence, focusing on your thoughts, immersed in yourself, away from the fuss. And after, you can discuss what each person was thinking.

The main idea is to turn teatime into a special moment for discussions without the fuss, and to devote a specific time to each other. This, of course, is not an exercise for every day.

Day of silence

On this day, which you plan in advance (you can choose once a week on Mondays, for example), you call a freeze on all disputes, nagging, and accusations against each other. During this time, you practice patience and restraint. We’re not talking about instances of domestic abuse and violence, of course.

Funny anecdote

You can agree on telling each other jokes or a funny anecdote every once in a while. Humor, jokes, and funny pranks are very useful in a relationship.

A new project

Some kind of joint effort that will shifts the attention off one other. This allows you to “unstick” from each other, and join up for some cause at the same time. For example, on weekends you might visit a dog shelter and help out there. Or you might both learn to play musical instruments (one learns the flute, the other learns the guitar) to play a song together. Or you can enroll in acting classes together and learn to play different roles. You can even sometimes “play” each other, so that each person can see themselves from the outside. Or you might develop a house plan for the house that you’ll both be retiring in. Anything you want, in the end.

These are all rather small steps that can be introduced gradually, little by little, which should eventually lead to a positive change in the relationship. This is called the “art of small changes”. In general, a creative approach has a very positive impact on relationships. Because then, we focus not only on how bad things are, but also try to come up with something new and interesting, freshening up and developing relationships.