In our lives, events happen when life is divided into “before” and “after”. The way it used to be is no longer possible, but it is still very unclear how to live in a new way.
Where to start?
The first step can be called “resetting”. Recognize that your life has changed. Something core and fundamental is still there – it is you and, as a rule, close people. But much of the past is gone forever. Objectively evaluating and understanding the current reality is the most important step.
It’s not easy – you want to grab everything that was in the “before”, and somehow drag it into your new life. If you do not abandon such attempts, you will be doomed to frustration and anger. You cannot fit a person of size L into the clothing of size S – it will look awkward.
Anthony was a high-level manager at his previous job, but he got laid off. Six months have passed, but he still has not found a new job, because he categorically refuses to even look at anything that, from his point of view, is lower than his previous position. But Simon, who was also laid off from a prestigious job, found a position as an entry-level manager. It took him the same six months to get to a similar leadership role as before.
Leaving the past in the past and starting a new chapter is not easy. But if you hold tightly this past in your hands and do not release it, you won’t be able to pick up anything new.
The second step. A new life will not be built in a day. And even in a week. And not in a month either. You need to take small steps to move forward. The brain needs time to rewire itself and start making new neural connections. Therefore, you need to gradually introduce new habits, try new routines, and open up to unfamiliar experiences.
The third step. Study your resources.
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You are not sure where to begin?
What do you still have? What did you lose or what did you have to give up? It’s best to write it down on paper. This will help you understand what you can count on while building new life strategies and making plans.
The fourth step. Decide on immediate and long-term goals.
What is important right now, at this very moment? Perhaps you must take care of issues related to the documents, visas, or housing – something that cannot be postponed. This is one list. Write it down on paper, your phone, or computer – and prioritize.
And what will be important “tomorrow”? This is no longer about everyday tasks, but about plans for the future. Try to write down all your goals and break them down into tasks. Do you feel that things become clearer?
This is a start! Try to tell yourself that it will not be easy, but this does not mean that it will be bad. Life is not linear. It throws different surprises. And being able to adapt to them is an important skill.
And now you are about to start on this path…
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