How to handle fear

Fear is an emotional state that reflects biological defense reaction of a human or an animal when going through real or putative danger for their health or well-being. In other words, being scared is okay!

But if fear evokes stress reaction and corresponding motor response, if it is so huge and all-consuming that it literally paralyses the person, preventing them from thinking or taking action, it is time for help.

How do we help someone who struggles with fear:

• Give them an opportunity to vent. To do that, you need to show the person that you do not consider their fear weird or silly

• Listen to them. Just listening to them is a great way to help. When you talk through your fears, they come out and don’t torture the person from within.

• Connect to the person emotionally: “I would be afraid, too. Fear is normal”.

• Try to switch this person’s attention to something else: you can count only red cars that are passing by, solve mathematical tasks, play word games.

• Offer doing breathing exercises: breathe in – breathe out slowly and deeply. Do it together.

Not recommended:

The biggest mistake is underestimating the person’s fears: “you’re imagining it”, “you made a problem out of nothing”, “calm down”, “just forget about it”.

How to help yourself during fear struggles:

• Call, or just text a close person, tell them about your fears – it is hard to deal with a fear response alone;

• Do breathing exercises, calm, steady breathing minimizes fear;

• If there’s no one near you – talk to yourself. Name your fear out loud: “I’m afraid of…”

• Relax as much as possible (unbuckle your belt, loosen your tie, take up a freer position). The body will send a signal to your brain that nothing horrible is going on.

• Strain all your body muscles and leave them in this position for 5 seconds, then relax. Try it 7-10 times.

• Distract yourself: in your head, count 10 sounds that you can hear now, then 10 feelings that you can feel now.