Evolution of relationships

We like to look at relationships from the point of view of their romantic side. But the relationship between partners has always had a biological reason. In other words, they were meant for procreation. And among us, among humans, this instinct, or rather, its manifestation, has changed and evolved quite a lot, from prehistoric times to the present day.

In prehistoric times, the concept of “relationship”, of course, did not exist. What kind of relationship could be there when primitive people had to unite for survival? Promiscuity flourished within these associations – free sexual relations existed that were not limited by anything, because even the idea of ​​”morality” had not yet emerged. Family ties didn’t matter, and incest was the norm.

This is how it all began …

Sex in ancient times could happen for three reasons: mutual desire, violence, or as a “barter”, since money did not yet exist. Social norms began to regulate gender relations much later.

Group marriage appeared, in which free sexual relations were allowed within a certain group or clan. Here, there was still no talk about the relationship between a man and a woman: the whole group was in a “relationship”. There was only one rule – no sexual intercourse outside the community. But inside it – as much as you like.

Over time, people noticed that incest had serious consequences, and it became necessary to look for a partner outside the family group. It was not such an easy task. Therefore, couples began to form for a longer period. And this form of the relationship was called “couples family.”

A huge influence on the way relations developed was exerted by what happened in society at one time or another. Wars, epidemics – all these have changed social attitudes, made their adjustments. For example, when due to wars, the number of Europeans fell sharply, a decree was issued that abolished the requirement of monogamy, because a sharp increase in population was necessary.

Thus, we can say that monogamy came to us not so long ago when we compare it with the history of humankind.

As for love – what we now see as a cornerstone of a “relationship” – this aspect has been completely ignored for quite a long time.

In ancient Greece, three types of love were recognized: “friendly” love between spouses and friends, sensual love that bound lovers, and sublime love. In other words, passion was not supposed to be between spouses, it could only be between lovers. The highest grade of love was sublime love (“agape”), but it was inspired not by feelings, but by ideas: beauty, goodness, or immortality.

In the Middle Ages, a sublime love for the Beautiful Lady appeared. It was not about sex, but about almost religious worship. But marriage had completely different, very prosaic goals: the continuation of the family and the increase in property value.

The next stage in the development of relations between a man and a woman is the Gallant Age (XVIII) when erotic love was the main purpose of life. For the first time, it was believed that a woman was created to be loved, and not to please a man. She had her own sex life and the right to an active role, and not only to submit to a man.

Nowadays, the romantic concept of love prevails. We prioritize the ideas of equality of partners, the importance of human relationships, and strong emotional experiences.

Romantic love creates a sense of personal uniqueness and individuality and lays the foundation for an equal and non-authoritarian relationship. It satisfies our psychological needs for love, reciprocity, communication, sexuality, and self-realization.

It is important to note that although we perceive love as something unique (and this is wonderful), as can be seen from history, we love the way it is “fashionable” to love in our time. And too many external factors influence the way we show our feelings.