Waiting kills me … time does not pass!

They say there’s nothing worse than waiting and catching up. However, it seems that catching up, however, is easier – because you do some actions, and waiting kills with its passivity and the fact that nothing, at the moment, depends on you and you literally do not know where to put yourself.

We often have to wait, both for small things-public transport, a doctor’s appointment, until the huge traffic jam on the road resolves, and in cases whose outcome can significantly affect our lives – obtaining a residence permit, the results of exams for admission to the desired UNIVERSITY, a call after a job interview… and if in the first case it is enough to upload interesting applications or a movie to the phone, then in the second option, the situation is slightly different. 

 Waiting creates uncertainty and, most unpleasant of all, a feeling of “limbo“, a sticky dependence on someone else’s decision, on how the “card will lie”, on something that is completely out of our control.

How to help another person:

– support the idea that even if the outcome is not what you would like – it is certainly unpleasant, but not fatal. You can help by talking about: “What happens if it doesn’t work out? Imagine the most unfavorable option. What are you going to do?“. This will allow a person to go from the abstract “horror-horror” to the concrete – what exactly is the horror and how I will deal with it;

– try to artificially reduce the importance of the expected: this work is really the best. Just the most-the most? Maybe if you don’t get it, there will be new opportunities?

How to help yourself:

– develop your personal active position, how you will live what is happening – you will rush from corner to corner, bite your nails, draw pictures of failure ” Chief, everything is gone!”or will you choose some other option? Realize that this is a matter of your choice;

-”don’t waste this time, make a plan B. And plan C won’t hurt either.” The process of making them: a) returns a sense of control over the situation b) works as a decatastrophization technique – it may not work as I want, Yes. But this is not a reason to give up.

– take as an experience of the acceptance of what does not depend on you to work then not with your expectations, but with reality: “I wanted to do, but I did not get points. You can endlessly grieve about missed opportunities, blame yourself, the examiners, and fate. Or you can take this as a starting point and move in a new direction»;