“The Cheat Sheet” Anxiety Reducing Technique 

In a state of anxiety, we usually can’t look at the situation objectively, figure out what is actually going on, or think rationally, and that is why we find it hard to “pull ourselves together”. 

This happens because we identify ourselves with anxiety, as though we are inside the situation. 

Therefore, in order to reduce intensity of emotions, you need to separate internally and give yourself proper support. 

Let’s try doing this.

It is best to do this exercise in a calm state. 

Remember a recent situation that made you experience intense anxiety. 

Remember your feelings, your thoughts, what was happening to your body. 

Now move to the Observer’s position. Imagine that you are looking at yourself from the outside. 

You see a person who is anxious, worried, concerned. 

A person who needs support at the moment.

That’s your Anxious part. 

It is crucial to remember that anxiety can’t take over the whole personality (although you may feel like it).  

There is always the part that is extremely anxious, and another part that is able to take control and stabilize your condition. 

Let’s return to observing the anxious part. 

What does it need? 

How can you show sympathy for it? 

How can you support it? 

How can you improve its condition? 

Try to answer these questions (it’s better to write down your answers).

Now let’s make a cheat sheet that will help you calm down in case of anxiety. 

The first part of the cheat sheet includes words of support. 

For example: 

“I hear you. I know you’re feeling bad right now. I’m with you. I’m holding your hand. We’ll overcome this, everything will be fine. Let me help you.”

You will say these words to yourself every time you feel overwhelmed. 

The second part of the cheat sheet is an algorithm of actions. 

It should include techniques that help you relieve an anxiety attack.

For example: 

– breathing; 

– body practice;

– cognitive practice; 

To make up your “first aid kit”, you need to try out different activities that reduce anxiety, and choose those that suit you best. 

To summarize. At the end of the exercise, you should have a cheat sheet that contains words of support and a plan of actions.

How do you use your cheat sheet? 

When an anxiety attack hits:

– “Separate”

– Enter the Observer’s position (a calm, steady and friendly figure) 

– See your Anxious part

– Follow your cheat sheet

Start practicing this technique today, master the skill to move into the supportive Observer’s position until it becomes automatic. 

And then, in times of crisis, you’ll find it easy enough to support and stabilize yourself.