Expect less from yourself

This was a difficult year for pretty much everybody. By now, many of us feel like they have almost no energy nor resources. Fatigue and irritability have been building up. Very often you just want to lay under the blanket, hiding from the outside rain, chill, and stress.

In moments like this, it is your sacred duty to take care of yourself. First and foremost it means that you should stop running ahead of the train and demand superb efficiency from yourself. At times like this, your body needs to preserve itself by finding ground under your feet.

Yes, we are used to being overachievers. Everyone around is shouting “Grow!”, “Get better!”, “March forward!”, “If you can’t march – crawl!”. Nobody is taking into account the state of the person from whom they are demanding all these achievements. And this state could have been better.

Often, we act towards ourselves by bossing around. As if we an evil step-mother from a fairytale. As if we are a stubborn boss who is stomping his feet and demanding deliverables “here-and-now”. As if we are a slave driver who has but one goal – to make sure the job gets done, no matter how many slave lives will be lost.

If you recognize yourself, you must change your strategy!

In general, it makes sense to build a warm and trusting relationship with yourself – based on attention and understanding. This is especially true during times of exhaustion or emotional fatigue. 

How can you do it?

1. Check if you are expecting too much from yourself. Take a sheet of paper and write down everything that you think you should do. As a result, you will get a “must-do” list.

2. Reread this list objectively, as if it was written not by you but by your friend about themselves. What do you think? Are the expectation appropriate for the level of energy and resource your friend has at the moment?

3. Set achievable goals. It’s OK if they are not too ambitious. Set only those goals that you can realistically reach without falling from exhaustion. 

4. Find something that makes you really happy and add this to your “must-do” list. This will help you replenish your resources. And they will support you and refill you when you are waiting for the energy to get restored.

5. Pay attention to your needs. What is required? Something tasty? A hot bath in the evening? Half an hour of meditation? To color some pictures?

In other words, stop demanding the impossible from yourself. Stay where you are right now and accumulate some resources. And remember the main point – if you conserve your energy today, tomorrow you will be able to accomplish much more!