Anger is a powerful emotion. It’s capable to make us literally lose our minds and all self-control.
Of course, you can’t ignore anger, but there are situations when you can’t do anything in that moment but you must regain your senses and stop resembling a boiling kettle right away: so that the blood stops rushing to the head and your ability to reason and think returns.
1. I’ll put it off for later
Seriously, promise yourself to splash all the “hot water” out of yourself later as soon as you can – go to the gym, take it out on the cushions, rip some newspapers, stomp your feet or even scream. Just put it off for later. Don’t forget to complete that promise.
2. Exhale!
If I take a deep breath and count to 10, I’ll calm down and see the situation differently.
Yes, a short order can help you get back to your senses. Remind yourself that you need to breathe. The right breathing can help relieve tension and sort out your thoughts. Close your eyes, slowly count to 10 and don’t open them until you feel yourself starting to calm down.
3. Am I really right?
To call to your senses when you’re absolutely furious is the hardest thing to accomplish. But the key is that if you do manage to ask yourself that question, you may notice that your interpretation of the intentions of another person (the one who’s put you off-balance) isn’t very fair or there are other possibilities as well. Imagine that perhaps it was a mere happenstance and there was no malicious intent to hurt (to anger, to harm) you.
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4. I’m so angry!
Specify your feelings, since you’re releasing them into space and, at least partially, legalizing them by doing so.
5. I’m angry! I’m boiling like a kettle! Like a fuse about to blow from the tension! Like Chernomor, from the story! Like…
You can use any expressions that pop into your head – the starker and funnier the metaphor, the better. It’s also good to imagine yourself as these characters. The catch is that it’s also a type of release. We make the emotion become absurd and it stops being so heavy. And if the image of you as Chernomor, with lightning bolts coming out of your eyes is making you laugh, you can believe that anger’s walked away – you can’t be angry and laugh at the same time.
6. I know I’ll be able to control myself
I’m strong and I won’t be doing anything I’ll regret later.
Any convincing claim would work here, or you can come up with your own. The most important thing is that it highlights your resilience and reminds you of your self-control. Speaking of:
7. Self-control is the opposite of impetuosity.
This phrase that needs to be said to yourself a few times, so that it reaches your consciousness through your mind clouded by fury, helps you understand that instant reaction isn’t good for you. After some time, you can show yourself. There’s no need for quick, superficial reactions – it’s better to wait and assess the situation when you’re cool-headed.
