Suppressed inner child

The inner child is the part of our psyche that is responsible for emotions, spontaneity, and the ability to have fun.

Normally, the three ego states (Parent, Adult, and Child) are in balance and can freely express themselves and act in different situations. But the inner Child may be suppressed by other ego states, and this leads to trouble.

What could be the reason?

The way the inner child manifests itself is rooted in childhood. Everything affects it: bodily contact, learned attitudes, psychological and physical traumas, feelings and emotions – all childhood experiences (even intrauterine) and the reactions of close adults to the baby play a role.

If a child was loved, cared for, allowed to show a variety of feelings, and adults cared about the baby’s needs – the person will be open to the world, active, and able to have fun and understand and fulfill their desires.

If a child was suppressed, controlled, raised as an “adult”, was not allowed to be spontaneous, or was burdened with too much responsibility, he or she will grow up with a chronic sense of guilt, the fear of being judged, and will not be able to understand oneself and one’s needs.

If a child was ignored, he or she will think of themselves as “a nobody”. And even as an adult, they will be afraid of being rejected, unloved, or not needed.

A suppressed inner child is a traumatized child. They were forced to defend themselves from the harsh world in which no one needed them. From their point of view, the world is like that.

So, how can we tell if a person’s inner child is suppressed?

There are different signs. For example, they can be too serious, unemotional, or even “dry”. Such people often are called “buttoned-up”. They do everything according to a plan and on schedule.

Or they may be anxious and fearful. “What if I laugh and get punished? Or rejected? Or what if will I look stupid, and they will laugh at me?”

A person who has their inner child blocked cannot enjoy life. They suffer. There is a lot of resentment and pain from their past experiences – and they do not allow the person to show their feelings and emotions. It is not difficult to guess that their life is not very happy – as if it is being only half-full.

What can you do if this sounds like you?

○ Get in touch with your emotional world. Get acquainted with the world of feelings and emotions gradually. Allow yourself to experience “difficult” emotions: such as sadness and anger.

○ Learn to hear and satisfy your needs and desires. During the day, ask yourself several times: what do I want now? And give it to yourself, if not right away, then later.

○ Play. Allow yourself a “useless” pastime (it is very important and useful). Give yourself positive emotional experiences.

○ Work through your internal traumas safely with the support of a psychologist.