Clients often ask psychologists about their feeling of guilt. However, now most often we hear about a special form of guilt – the guilt for one’s own well-being.
“I’m doing well, but my friends and family have lost their homes. How can I be buying a new sofa for my apartment knowing this?”
“I have no right to feel joy when such a misfortune happens to other people.”
“How can I live if everything is fine with me, but someone’s houses were destroyed and loved ones died?”
When there is a lot of fear, anxiety, anger, and horrific suffering around the world – we seem to receive a signal that our feelings are somehow “wrong” if they do not match what is “socially acceptable” to feel at times like this. If you go about your “life as usual” – you seem like an insensitive monster.
The moral judgment is turned on, and it seems that “it is immoral now to feel joy, buy new clothes, eat ice cream, or watch movies.” After all, not everyone can afford it now.
In psychology, there is a term “survivor’s guilt” – when a person feels guilty for surviving a car accident, military operations, or a natural catastrophe. Some people didn’t survive. Now a huge number of people are experiencing a similar feeling of guilt. Some left the country where it is now unsafe and think about those who stayed. Some view the terrible events from the outside and curl into a ball, thinking that they do not have the right to live.
Self-therapy can be an essential tool for personal growth and self-improvement.
Browse through our courses and see the positive changes they can bring to your life.
You are not sure where to begin?
If you know this feeling, you need to regularly repeat the following to yourself:
1. These events ARE NOT MY FAULT.
2. I HAVE THE RIGHT to empathize with others without putting my life on hold.
3. I will not make ANYONE better if I make my life miserable – it does not help.
4. NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT to make me feel guilty for something I’m not guilty of.
5. My life is ALSO VALUABLE.
If you are not able to cope with guilt, it is important to talk about it with a specialist, or with a person who can listen without judging. It is important not to leave the guilt inside: you need to talk through it and let it out.
If you have the resources to help someone – do it. You will multiply the good in the world and it will make you feel better.
Help us grow on Instagram 👇
