Anger is a natural emotion that a person can experience in various situations. Anger is important and necessary. But uncontrolled and inadequate expression of anger leads to a number of negative consequences. There are three simple rules for living through this emotion in a safe manner.
Rule #1: Acknowledge your anger and give yourself the right to feel it.
Accept that you can lose your temper in the future, including during communication with others. Try to understand what causes your anger, how it manifests itself in your body and thoughts. Take some time to reflect on that in order to identify triggers and your responses to them.
Rule #2: Talk about your feelings out loud using “I-messages”.
Try to express anger in ways that don’t harm others and don’t damage your relationships. The sooner you acknowledge your negative emotions and call them «by name», the easier it will be to overcome them. Use «I-messages» to voice your feelings and needs: «I’m angry!», «I’m annoyed!», «I’m furious», etc.
Rule 3: Be open to a dialogue.
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Expressing anger should not be limited to voicing your emotion. Explain the reasons for your anger, describe your inner reaction. For example: «When I see all those socks, shirts and sweats scattered all over the floor, I just boil up, I get furious! I’m ready to open the window, put everything in a pile and throw it out!»
Then try to articulate your wishes in an ecological and polite way and prepare to listen to your opponent.
Following these rules, you will be able to better control your emotions, express anger without risking damaging your relationships with others and look for solutions that will satisfy everyone involved.
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