It’s natural for a person to take care of their partner and want to be cared about. But sometimes there is just too much attention: it no longer brings pleasure, but makes you feel uncomfortable. Sometimes even guilty. Sounds familiar? In this article, we will try to figure out where enjoyable care ends and uncomfortable control begins.
Caring: I’m calling to ask how you’re doing because I noticed that you’ve been a little upset lately.
Control: I want to know every detail of your life, because I feel anxious and want to control what you do and who you see.
Caring: I’m ready to listen to you and try to understand your feelings without judgment and bias.
Control: You must tell me everything that happens in your life, otherwise I will suspect that you are hiding something from me.
Caring: I will be there for you if you need my help.
Control: I will solve your problems myself, because I think you are unable to manage on your own.
Caring: I am proud of you and your achievements. You really deserve recognition.
Control: You have to achieve certain goals in order to meet my expectations and get my approval.
Caring: I respect your independence, your boundaries and personal space.
Control: I expect you to be available 24/7. You don’t need personal space when we are together.
Caring: You are free to choose and make decisions that will satisfy your needs and desires.
Control: You shouldn’t do anything without my permission. I know what’s best for you.
Caring: I’m willing to support you in any situation and help you achieve your goals.
Control: You can’t trust anyone but me. Only I can solve all your problems.
Caring: I want you to be happy, even if it means we have to make different decisions.
Control: If you are with me, then you’ll have to do what I want. Even if it makes you unhappy.
Caring: I support you in your decisions and actions because I believe in your ideas.
Control: You have to do what I say, because I know better and I’m always right.
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Caring: I’m glad that you keep in touch with other people, and have your own friends. I appreciate the trust and respect between us.
Control: You mustn’t see your friends or keep in touch with anyone without my knowledge. Are you cheating on me? I have to control your contacts!
Understanding the difference between caring and control will help you build a strong relationship with your partner, learn to listen to your own needs and needs of others.
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