Subject: Sasha, 25 years old.
Sometimes I get waves of unpleasant feelings reminding me that I’m not reaching some invisible bar in life, that I don’t have enough time, I study too little, don’t have enough knowledge in different areas, am not good enough for my husband, or not professional enough at work. How do I fight this?
Recommendations:
Where to start, Sasha? Let’s begin with her idea that she doesn’t “have enough knowledge in different areas”.
This thought should be analyzed using the following criteria: What signs have led me to understand this? Who am I comparing myself with (is there a sample)? What exactly am I missing? Is it possible to make up for it?
Or perhaps, “I don’t have enough time” – enough is how much? Is it a number real or is it fiction? What can I do to make it enough?
The first task is to translate ambiguity into certainty so that you can understand whether the requirements are realistic or so unattainable that you may as well not even dive in at all.
It’s important to find out if Sasha has an understanding of what it takes to be “enough”.
Let’s go on now and take a closer look at “not good enough for his man”.
Self-therapy can be an essential tool for personal growth and self-improvement.
Browse through our courses and see the positive changes they can bring to your life.
You are not sure where to begin?
Sasha emphasizes here that the problem is not in the actual situation, but in her negative assessment of herself. What should be “good enough” for another person? And in general, why can’t one be themselves?
In fact, most often people who assess themselves this way have learned in childhood that they are “not good enough”. Perhaps mom, dad, or grandma wasn’t ashamed to say this all the time, “Why are you like this? Maria studies a lot better than you, and she also helps her parents, and you…”, and then a little later on, “What kind of work is this that you’re doing? Just take a look at Irene, she…” And so the child, from early childhood, constantly tries to reach the “carrot” dangling in front of their nose, but the sadness is in the fact that this carrot is tied to him, so to catch up with it is just short of impossible…
It turns out that the answer to the question “how to fight it” is hidden behind an analysis of causes and logic. As soon as Sasha can answer the questions recommended by our specialists, the case will move from its current dead point.
