Personal boundaries are important. However, sometimes it is much easier to establish them with strangers than with friends – you may feel guilty or be scared of offending them.
Boundaries are essential in friendships because they allow us to feel comfortable in communication and protect us from being hurt or embarrassed.
Here are examples of perfectly normal phrases that you may use without feeling guilty:
1. I respect your opinion, but I have a different point of view.
2. When you say something like that about my figure/hair/makeup, I feel uncomfortable. I am asking you not to do this again.
3. I understand that you are angry with N, but I do not want to discuss a person behind her back. Let’s talk about something else, shall we?
4. Next time, please let me know about your visit in advance, okay? It would be great if I knew exactly by what time to finish my tasks so that I am distracted by them when we spend time together.
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5. It is not always convenient for me to listen to voice messages, so I may not answer you for a long time. Please send me text messages. Then I can respond faster.
6. I’m not ready to talk about it yet. Let’s get back to this conversation later, okay?
7. Unfortunately, I will not be able to meet you at the airport tonight. But this taxi service is very convenient and has reasonable rates. I use them often.
8. Parenting is an area where I make decisions myself. I know you want to help, but when you give me advice, I feel uncomfortable. Please don’t do this, okay?
9. My way of eating suits me quite well. To each – his own. There is not much to discuss here.
10. I know that you want to help. But I request, please, before you do anything, ask me first. Otherwise, I feel like a little kid who can’t take care of himself.
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