The vast majority of people can hardly tolerate uncertainty. This is not surprising, since uncertainty triggers a stress response about various future events that may or may not happen. If a person is anxious, to begin with, then withstanding uncertainty becomes even more difficult.
What to prepare for? How to feel more or less comfortable when there is no solid ground under your feet?
To begin with, let’s remember that in life, uncertainty is impossible to avoid. Even more so: the certainty that we have is very illusive because life often throws some surprises to which we have to adapt.
You were going to work on a specific task today. You planned your day, but a sudden call from a realtor makes you take off and reschedule your whole workday. Or in the morning you had an earache – and you had to go visit a doctor. Or your boss changed the business priorities – and you need to work on something completely different. This happens often, right?
But when it comes to fundamental life issues, uncertainty creates much more stress. For example:
– You are offered to relocate to another region/country. Should you agree or not? Will you be successful or not? Where exactly will you live? And if you don’t go, will you find a new job?
– Should you get married? What if it’s not the right person? What if he/she stops loving you? What if you stop loving them? Will the marriage work?
– Should you retire or not? If you quit, you will face some difficulties. If you do not – others. Which ones are harder to manage? And which ones are easier?
– The world is changing. And what will happen tomorrow? What if you need to move? What if you lose your job? What if something happens to your loved ones?
There is no confidence in the future, no guarantees, no recipes – how to continue living?
Here we listed the main cognitive traps that are easy to fall into under the stress of uncertainty:
○ Catastrophising. Panic overwhelms you. Terrible thoughts are spinning in your head: “I will be fired, I will be left without a job, my family will starve, we will have nowhere to live.” And now, in your mind, you see yourself ending your life freezing under the bridge.
○ Black and white thinking. It will either be like this or like that – there is no third way. There – peace, happiness, joy, here – hopeless grief and sadness.
○ Prediction of the future. “I know exactly that if… happens… then …”. There are usually no positive forecasts.
○ Generalizations. General conclusions based on one specific case. “My girlfriend moved and was never able to find a normal job – it will be the same with me!”
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If you are familiar with such thoughts/reactions, it is worth remembering that these are our cognitive distortions. They are not justified and are, in fact, errors of thinking.
So, what to do?
Try not to fight uncertainty, but to accept it as a reality. Life is constantly changing, but this does not mean that any changes are for the worse. Even if the changes bring something negative, we are quite capable of coping with them.
Recall the cases (everyone has them) when it seemed that what happened was absolutely for the worst, but suddenly new opportunities opened to you. Or how, despite adverse circumstances, you handled the situation and came out on top.
Build a network of resources. What helps you in difficult situations? Who can you rely on?
Build experiences in different areas of life – learn new things and communicate with different people.
Ask for support when needed.
Uncertainty is not as scary as our reaction to it. It is quite possible to survive it and even find positive aspects in what is happening.
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