Why are we tempted to exaggerate a little bit and is it really that bad?

Sometimes, when telling a story we feel a big urge to embellish it a little bit. Or even to tell a small lie. And this is not intentional. It is not like when getting ready to meet our friends we are planning: “I will tell them that the fish I caught was 6 pounds, not 2!” Somehow, these exaggerations just happen by themselves…

These statements are called hyperbolas. Sometimes, we want to embellish the facts of our lives and we do it with pleasure. Where does this urge come from?

1. We want to make our story more colorful and interesting.

Certain facts look brighter when they are – how do we say it – emphasized more. Consequently, the story may have some exaggerated and made-up details. 

The bathroom in our hotel room was like 250 square feet! And it had an awesome jacuzzi!

(Well, it was 150, not 250 square feet, but close enough).

And we picked 8 buckets of blueberries – we could hardly carry them back to the car!

My wedding dress was embroidered by 10 blind nuns (Rachel from “Friends”)

2. We want to appear better.

In this case, the embellishment will emphasize our beauty, smarts, intelligence, and special abilities.

I could not stand that in this dog shelter the cages were so crammed. So, I donated $1000 so that they could buy new ones. 

(It was only $300, not $1000, but if I say $1000 I appear more generous.)

3. We are craving attention.

In certain periods of our lives, we may experience a vacuum of attention. In this case, some exaggeration allows us to improve our self-esteem and attract the attention of people around us.

At the end of the evening, the DJ bought me a drink and asked for my number.

(In reality, he only winked at me while I was dancing, but this other version is way more exciting!)

I did not get a medal in this competition, but the audience was definitely on my side. While I was performing, there was dead silence in the room, and when I finished, they couldn’t stop clapping.

4. To make our counterpart feel certain emotions: sympathy, joy, being involved.

When I realized that I lost my wallet, I was in shock. I did not have a penny and I had to take care of my baby till the next paycheck!

(In reality, I, obviously, had some savings, but his story brings up more sympathy).

At Disney World, everything was so colorful and bright that I thought I would lose my eyesight from all this beauty!

The desire to exaggerate does not mean that the person is a liar. Lying has a very different basis from the examples that we talked about. People lie to alter reality, to conceal certain facts and details to get some benefits. In these examples, the only benefit you can get is to make your story brighter and more interesting, or perhaps to appear as a better person – but this is not a crime. Even in books and movies, we often encounter this technique: emotions are more extreme; the actions are more intense – and it does not matter whether they are positive or negative. The goal is to create interest in the audience. 

If you notice that you want to embellish more often than usual, or you want to do it all the time while communicating with certain people, try to analyze – why do you need this now? This way, you will gain one more insight into yourself.