Phrases you can use to defend your boundaries

We talk a lot about boundaries not because it’s fashionable. Boundaries is what keeps other people from invading where they weren’t invited. They preserve our integrity.

Here is a selection of phrases that you can use if someone is trying to step onto your territory without an invitation.

When you receive unsolicited advice:

Thanks, but I don’t need advice.

Thanks, but I think differently.

I need to figure this out myself.

You can share your opinion, but I will make the decision myself.

I know better what I need.

I like how I look and will decide for myself what suits me.

This is my choice. We will not discuss it.

When someone is asking personal questions:

Sorry, I don’t want to talk about it.

This topic is very personal for me, I do not want to discuss it.

Let’s not touch this topic, it makes me feel uncomfortable.

It does not concern you.

When you need to say “no” (they offer you something you don’t need or ask you for something):

Sorry, but I must say no.

I’m sorry, I can’t do this.

It doesn’t suit me/is not interesting to me.

Unfortunately, I won’t be able to do it.

Sorry, I have other plans.

I need time to consider this. I’ll give you an answer a little later.

It’s doesn’t fit with my schedule.

I have other priorities now.

Unfortunately, I can’t help you.

When your boundaries are shamelessly violated:

I am will not continue the conversation in this way/tone.

I don’t like the way you say it.

I hate the way you say it. I must end this conversation now.

I’m not going to discuss it.

This only concerns me and my wife/husband.

I will not tolerate this attitude.

There is nothing to discuss.

When a person is offensively “joking”:

Your joke is inappropriate.

This topic is no joke to me.

What you say hurts me.

I don’t like jokes about my appearance, please don’t do that.