You are beautiful and smart, but for whatever reason, men are not in a rush to get to know you. Hmm… What could be wrong here? As usual, we need to start by searching for various “blockages” – the reasons that prevent men from approaching you.
1) Often, “the smart and beautiful ones” look down on everyone around them. Any person who has a functioning self-preservation instinct intuitively will try to hide behind a tree.
What to do? Check if you are not blinding people around you with the light of your perfection and impeccability.
2) You want and, at the same time, don’t want to meet new men… because it is scary. What if he turns out to be a gigolo? What if he doesn’t like me? What if he will mistreat me like my ex? What if? What if? And you lower your head, trying not to meet the eye of men around you.
What to do? Analyze your fears and anxieties. What are you afraid of? Relationships are always risky. There are no guarantees. But is this a good reason to avoid them?
3) You want relationships so badly that you literally impose yourself on any person of the male gender. When you want to find a partner too much, your eyes are burning with an unhealthy glow, and people can read your desire to get married immediately. This may scare away potential suitors.
What to do? Check if you are not radiating a threat, passive aggression, or an intention to get close too fast. If you find any of these symptoms, you should reevaluate your approach.
4) You “freeze up” when people look at you and lose the ability to normally communicate with men. You start giggling, sweating, shaking, forgetting words and phrases, and losing control over your body.
What to do? Work on the symptoms of stress and reduce the significance of the situations when you are communicating with men. Identify and work on your anxiety triggers.
5) You don’t have an adequate self-image. You show up in the world in the wrong way, and therefore, you don’t get the response that you are expecting. Perhaps, you position yourself as a victim, and men dodge you to avoid falling into the hole of non-ending pitying… Or, perhaps, you come across as an iron lady and men want to sidestep you to avoid being overrun…
What to do? Work on creating an appropriate self-image.
6) You make excessive demands and in essence, kill any possibility of a relationship during the first encounters. When you meet people, you are not trying to understand what they are like, what they are interested in. You don’t look for something in common, but you push away people without trying to get to know them.
What to do? Figure out if your expectations are realistic and don’t jump to conclusions regarding men whom you meet.
7) You are certain that there are no “normal” men. The only ones left are stupid, married, or gigolos. And there are no places to meet people – no places at all! Where would new acquaintances come from if you look at the world from such an angle?
What to do? Reevaluate your obsolete and fundamentally wrong views. Next thing you know, your situation will change.
8) You expect men to show initiative, while you just sit and wait like an Ice Queen.
What to do? Remember that the times when men had to approach a woman and introduce themselves are long gone. If you initiate a conversation, you will have more variety and more chances to meet people.
As you can see, there are many reasons why wonderful women may not be able to have good communication with men. In this article, we only listed a few of them. If this situation sounds familiar, take our course “Antiloneliness” (check our website for discounts). In this course, we go into detail regarding everything that may prevent you from building a relationship. We use practical exercises to help build a new approach that will lead you to the desired outcome.
Self-therapy can be an essential tool for personal growth and self-improvement.
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